Wow – I’ve been absent from this blog for ages, huh?
I’m sorry. My life has been a bit like a huge farmyard… with lots and lots of animals, running all over the place! The chickens eating from the pig trough… the pig is wallowing in the dog food… the turkeys have fallen into the duck pond… the dogs are fighting… the cats are eating the poultry – (you get the picture).
What I’ve been doing (for the past couple of months) – is trying to safely corral all of the animals in their own enclosures. Within the context of my life, this means that I’ve been busy organising certain “groups” (of what is essentially me) – into slightly more manageable situations.
I guess we all have many different parts – and most of us juggle a number of different roles.
I have quite a variety of different parts-of-me – very basically boil down to this:
- My role as a mother to two young children.
- My role as a wife.
- My role as an educator (my kids are homeschooled).
- My role as an artist and musician.
- My role as a writer and blogger.
- My role as a creative social entrepreneur.
- My role as a speaker.
All of these roles are sooo multi-dimensional. It’s almost as though each of these roles have hundreds (if not thousands) of different prongs… like branches on a huge tree! And to make things a bit more complicated – each of my roles come packaged with a set of dreams, ideas and plans.
- As a mother, I want my kids to be happy and fulfilled in all the ways that count.
- As a wife – I want to connect with and support Nick (in soooo many ways)
- As an educator – I want to instil in Morgan and Joah a LOVE and a passion for learning and knowledge. I want them to be creators, initiators, problem solvers…
- As an artist and musician, I want to – I NEED to – create (regularly!). It’s in my DNA. I wither when I don’t create. Something inside of me shrivels and withers when I don’t compose and draw and design. I have dreams for my art and my music. Big, crazy dreams!
- As a writer and blogger – I want to connect with a wider audience. I want to share stories. I want folk to *get* what I’m about – and I want to hear their stories and *get* what they’re about too!
- As a social entrepreneur – I want to make the world a better place. I don’t just want my life to be about Me & Mine… I want to see a much bigger picture. I want to be a part of the world’s solutions. I don’t want to be apathetic. I don’t want to be irrelevant. I want to do the stuff that matters.
- As a business owner, I want my work to generate an income (absolutely!) – but I want more than that, I also want it to make some kind of a positive difference in the lives of others.
- As a speaker – I want to challenge, encourage and inspire. And I want to tell stories… and share pictures and songs… and make people laugh… and give them interesting, meaty ideas to think about and ponder…
What I’m trying to say: you can see how it can all get a bit messy? So many roles… dreams… spaces that I’m trying to fill… so much to think about… so much to manage… so much to DO…
(and don’t even get me started on the part where I need to nurture myself and my body physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally!) – that’s the part that’s always left at the back of the line. I tell myself that I’ll look after MYSELF – only when everything and everyone else has been sufficiently dealt with.
But, I’m sure you can relate.
Most women I know are exhausted. Most of us are stretched beyond capacity with a thousand things… a thousand roles… hundreds of expectations and stuff that we feel we’re “supposed to” do…
And here’s the thing… you don’t *HAVE TO* do anything! YOU can CHOOSE to let certain things go (or you can choose not to)… and guess what? There’s only 24 hours in a day – and you’re not Superwoman!
- You don’t have to take on every project that is offered to you.
- You don’t have to say “yes” all the time.
- You don’t have to attend every church meeting, prayer meeting, school meeting, family meeting, book-club meeting, etc.
You don’t *have to* live up to anyone else’s expectations (including your own!) – and especially not if those expectations are going to drain you of energy and leave you feeling as though you’ve been run over by a bus full of rugby players… (and then the bus stopped and reversed over you – just to make sure you were pancake enough).
This blog is a case in point.
Over the past couple of months – I have needed to strongly focus my energy on a number of different things… and this blog just wasn’t on that list.
Of course, in Heather-can-do-it-ALL-Land – I would not have neglected this blog.
But, of course, Heather CAN’T do-it-all. None of us can.
Predictably, when I neglected the blog… a bunch of catty, niggling little thoughts started popping into my (already overcrowded) brain:
- “If you don’t update your blog regularly, people will lose interest and they’ll think you’re not serious and they’ll never visit again!”
- “If you disappear from your blog, people will assume that you’re not trust-worthy in other areas of your life”
- “If you neglect your blog, people will assume that you’re neglecting Beautiful Life Project”.
- “People will be disappointed with you”
- “People will lose faith in you”
And so on…
Interestingly enough – my biggest concerns mostly had to do with these two things:
- “What will people say?”
- “What will people think?”
Isn’t it crazy how so many of us allow those two little thoughts or concerns to absolutely GOVERN our lives? Even to the point where we burn ourselves out trying to please everyone… like, all-the-time??
When you take time to really THINK about it – it’s beyond silly. It is.
Who gives a (*insert rude word of your choice here*) what OTHER PEOPLE say about you? Or what OTHER PEOPLE think about you? Why does it matter so much?
Does it matter SO much that you’ll neglect your health and burn yourself out completely – for the sole purpose of trying to please others, or ‘measure up’ – or live up to expectations that others have placed upon your life? (or even more telling: the expectations that YOU have placed upon your own life!)
Take it from someone who knows: IT. IS. NOT. WORTH. IT. (repeat, repeat, repeat!!!).
Now you know why I have neglected this blog.
It’s because I’m not Superwoman. And, for a season, this blog needed to give way to other important needs. There ya have it!
And now… (because I am being KIND to myself these days)… I’m going to run a very hot bath… and I’m going to sink into the suds with a good book… and relax the cares of the day away. Until next time….