Do you ever get tired of being defined by others as being something or somebody… who isn’t actually who you are?

Maybe I’m in a very sorry state of mind at the moment – and shouldn’t be writing any posts until I’ve had a very long sleep.  Maybe I should get a grip on myself and my feelings before I embarrass myself by ranting in a public space (ie: this blog).  But then again, maybe writing is just a healthy conduit for venting and a way that can help me sort through my own thoughts – in a healthy way.  Instead of slipping into misery – or searching for something deep-fried and sugar-coated to console myself with.

It’s at times like these when I wonder:  Who the heck is Heather?  And what the heck does Heather actually want out of life?

I’m one of those who are not afraid of change.  So much so – that I constantly crave change.  As soon as my life becomes remotely rut-like or repetitive – I go out in search of a new adventure – in search of change.  Right now – I feel that familiar twinge… that familiar thirst… a feeling that if I don’t embark on a new adventure – soon – that I shall lose myself in a thick, grey fog of expectations, duties and things I ‘ought’ to do – instead of things I yearn to do.

This… yearning… for change manifests itself in strange ways.  Last night, I decided I was sick of having long hair – and so, without further ado (or much thought), I grabbed a pair of mini craft scissors (the type that little children use to cut shapes out of gum paper) – and I chopped off my hair.  I now have a scraggy bob in place of the long locks – but hey, no regrets.  No big deal.  I’m happy not to have a hot neck.

Of course, chopping off ones hair with teeny scissors hasn’t quenched the larger thirst (for change)… at all.

I question everything.  Am I making a difference?  Am I doing anything remotely useful with my life?  Am I a social entrepreneur for the right reasons – or do I do it to fulfil some kind of deep need within myself?  Do I care about the world as much as I pretend to?  Am I vain?  Am I selfish?  Have I deluded myself into thinking that my work is important?  Why am I doing this?  It is so(!) time-consuming… so(!) emotionally draining… so (!) financially straining… so (!) exhausting…. so WHY am I doing this work?

Maybe I should quit all of my projects – and move to a remote island with Nick and my kids… and sleep in hammocks and live off coconuts?  Oh – how blissfully simple life would be!  (But, knowing me, I’d already be bored to tears by week 2 – and figuring out ways to compose music out of sea-shells or some-such-something….)

Anyway – maybe I should just go to bed now.  And sleep.  And re-charge.  And maybe I’ll be thinking with more… uh… perspective… in the morning.

So… as you can tell… I haven’t been blogging on this site for a long time.

I won’t be making excuses – or even promises.  My life has been so crazy-varied and so crazy-busy with Beautiful Life Project, WOODO (Women who DO!), VENT! and the finalising of Tapestry of Dreams… that I haven’t had time to do much else.

But then maybe… maybe that’s just an excuse.

Here’s a confession.  Yet again, I have been putting everything… and I mean everything… before “me”.  Absolutely everything is more important than Heather-Time.  Or Heather’s-Personal-Dreams.

Don’t get me wrong… I love my life, my kids, my family.  I wouldn’t swap them – or my time with them – for the world.  I also love my work.  I find my  work incredibly fulfilling.  There is no other work that I would choose to do instead.  Each one of my projects is my ‘baby’.  Each one holds a piece of me.  Each one makes me come alive in a different way.  And I’m grateful for this.

But still.  There is a difference between my work (what I DO!)… and “Heather” (who I AM!).  And I have been (once again) neglecting Heather.  Surprise-surprise.  I’m sure this is familiar territory for (too) many women.

Everyone comes FIRST.  Husband, kids, home, work, friends, family, responsibilities, expectations, lists of things-to-do, etc, etc.  And – as usual – “Heather Needs”  and “Heather Dreams” are placed far, far at the back of the queue. Everything and everyone else is the Number 1 Priority.  This, I believe, is a very familiar journey – for most women.  As nurturers, it’s easy for us to nurture everyone else… but when it comes to nurturing ourselves – there seems to be no time left!  We can listen to everyone else, and be a shoulder to cry on for so many people – but when it comes to listening to our own needs and desires… again – no time!  Too many other things to attend to.  Other people who need our attention.  Other priorities which need to be focussed upon.

Last year, I wrote in the Beautiful Life Project newsletter that I wanted 2012 to be a year of Celebrating ME!  And I had quite a few women respond and write back to me, saying how they too – needed to prioritise themselves and stop neglecting themselves and their own needs.  I guess I would like this blog to explore that idea.

I’m going to write very frankly – and share with you what I’m struggling with.  Perhaps we can walk this journey together?  I have no need (or desire) to try and present myself to the world as somebody who has all her ducks in a row.  I don’t.  (I wonder if anybody has?  Including all the famous Self-Help gurus).  I just think that some of us are better at hiding than others.

So – here’s my Question of the Day:  do you hide?  Do you wear a mask?  Patch on a smile and pretend that everything is fine – even when it’s not?  Do your closest friends and family know you – or do you hide from them too?  Do you worry too much about what-people-will-think… or what-people-will-say and so you hide, and smile, and pretend… and fool everyone into believing that you’re something or someone… that you’re actually not?

I hide.  But I don’t hide in the ways I used to hide.  These days, I tend to hide my dreams.  My real dreams.  The reason why I hide them is because I fear the reactions of others.  I worry that my dreams seem too stupid, too superfluous, too unreasonable, too…. vain?  (“Vain” has always been a word I’ve feared).

Perhaps I’ll be brave enough to share some of those crazy, “vain” dreams with you a bit further down the line.

But for now – I’ll just kick off 2012 with a revival of this blog – and hope that, in 2012, it will live up to its name… and that I, too, will be brave enough… to shine.

 

If I have but one recommendation… of one book… that every person should read this year – it is “Half the Sky” by Nicholas D. Kristof & Sheryl Wudunn (husband and wife team).  Now available all across the world (the cover of the book is different in the USA).

I’m not going to harp on (my blogs are typically wayyyyy too long-winded)… except to say:  1) Buy this book!  2) Read it from cover to cover!  3) Act on what you’ve read!

That’s my mini-rant of the day!

Jean Kilbourne offers some very relevant (if not disconcerting) information in her videos, “Killing us Softly”.  The video I have posted here is her 3rd version.  She has recently released Killing Us Softly 4 – which is even more worrying than the previous three editions!  I’ve posted version 3 here, however, because the most recent version isn’t available on youtube – you will need to order it… (I patiently watched the ‘preview’ version here).

Watch version 3 on the youtube link I’ve embedded… but I really recommend that you watch version 4… or even better – order a copy!   Jean only confirms what I have believed for a long time…  the damaging effects of our society’s advertising tactics on women (and particularly on young girls).

Below is part 1 of 4.   Click here for part 2… and here for part 3… and here for part 4…

Some of you may know a bit of my history… a bit of my story.  I’ve had an eating disorder for 30 years  (I’m turning 38 in November).  Currently – I’m still fat  (my eating disorder, by the way, is binge eating disorder… I never had the ‘discipline’ of a bullimic or an anorexic – I never mastered the ‘art’ of The Purge).

In spite of this… thorn… in my side, however.  In spite of the constant ‘presence’ of my fat and my constant annoyance / revulsion / acceptance (depending on what mood I’m in) of the fat… I still live a very privileged and blessed life.

I am happily married to the most wonderful man on this planet (bias I know)… I have two gorgeous children… I’m surrounded by wonderful, supportive friends and family… I do what I love every day… and best of all, I have escaped that awful, black hole of One-Day-When land (where I squatted for so many miserable years).

My particular “One-Day-When” was this:  ”One day, when I’m thin….”

• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll start liking myself again.
• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll buy myself some nice new clothes.
• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll get my hair done the way I want it.
• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll sing on stage again.
• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll have the confidence to do what I really want to do with my life.
• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll connect with old friends again.
• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll sign up for dance lessons.
• One day, when I’m thin… I’ll share my story with others.

Blah… Blah… Blah-Blah!!!

I made the decision (kudos to me!) about 2 years ago – that I was going to escape that awful place of One-Day-When (I’m thin)… and live life in the NOW!

Now… mind you… I don’t have all of my ducks in a row – and I still wear really crappy, boring clothes (mostly because I loathe all of the vile offerings in the fat-lady stores)… and I still don’t have my hair the way I want it… BUT…  I have bravely managed to accomplish a number of other goals and projects whilst (gasp!) still fat!

One of these, of course, was launching Beautiful Life Project in November 2007.  BLP is my ‘baby’ and I believe strongly in the principles espoused in the project’s beliefs & values.  I also launched Tapestry of Dreams in 2009 – and forced my (not so small) bum up on that stage and sang in front of all those people… in SPITE OF my insecurities and my unhappiness with the state of my body!

10 beautiful Role Models from Tapestry of Dreams... plus me.

Doing my thing and thanking all of the volunteers at the Tapestry of Dreams SHINE! show - November 2009

I have made this decision:  To hell with One-Day-When Land… I’ve wasted way too much precious life One-Day-When’ning!!!!

I’m living in the NOW – fat and all!  I have to learn to love and respect “me” – right NOW… instead of waiting, waiting, waiting for that miraculous day in the future when I might be thin… so that I might be able love and respect myself ‘then’.

And, so I’m forging ahead with lots to do and lots to share.  Tapestry of Dreams is in it’s next phase with all kinds of exciting plans (this time, I’m off to New York to discuss crazy-wild plans for Africa with some other crazy-wild dreamers in the Big Apple)… and then in August I’m going to Mozambique with a bunch of world-changers for brainstorming and planning in the middle of the bush.  And I’m finishing off the ToD doccie… and writing songs for an album that I’ve been wanting to record for my whole life… finishing off the BLP Pocket Diary (including the Teen version)… working on a book and a blog with my sister… and preparing for a conference for girls (sponsored by Cell C) in Cape Town, in late September.

My life is full, varied and beautiful.

Sure, I might have to endure a long and uncomfortable flight to the US in a way-too-small plane seat.  And I might huff-and-puff if we go on any kind of walks in the wilds of Mozambique.  And I might hate every item of clothes in my cupboard… but is any of this reason enough to hide myself away in the shadows again?

With confidence I can say:  absolutely not!!!!

So… I continue fighting this eating disorder (some days I win, other days I lose)… and every day, making tiny advances towards that person… that reflection… in my bathroom mirror…  learning to love her… one step at a time… right now… exactly as she is.

For a mild mannered, peace-loving person such as myself, I’m almost amused (in a dark kind of way) at how much stuff really ticks me off and gets my blood boiling these days!

One of my greatest bug-bears is the ridiculous expectations placed upon women by the Western Media — and this also includes the diet industry, the beauty industry and the fashion industry.  I hate that Chinese girls are comparing themselves to stinkin’ Barbie – and finding themselves hopelessly inadequate.  I hate that African models are only accepted on international runways and platforms if, to quote a model agent, “they look like white girls dipped in chocolate”.  I hate that eating disorders are soaring amongst women and girls who feel they’ll never measure up (or rather, down) to that size 0 ideal.  I hate that teenagers are botoxing themselves and getting breast implants at the age of sixteen!  I hate that advertisers tell us that, as women, the most important thing in our lives is the way we LOOK.  I hate that hundreds of thousands of women have flocked into the surgeons office to attempt to fit themselves into the narrow-minded, cookie-cutter ideal of ‘beauty’ as rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous media and fueled by greedy corporations.  I hate that Muslim women in certain countries are beaten and murdered by right-wing extremists… the “morality police”.  I hate that so many women and children are physically, sexually and emotionally abused… and that human trafficking is still a ripe industry (slavery still alive and kicking – only underground – for sexual pleasure for disgusting perverts).  I hate that certain cultures feel that it’s okay to smack their wives around occasionally ‘if they deserve it’.  I’m can’t stomach the porn industry and the resulting objectification of women – and the sexualizing of young girls.  I’m incensed by female circumcision and mutilation and other ridiculous acts of disempowering and humiliating women and girls…. and don’t even get me started on the sexual predators and pedophiles!

Now… these problems are all staggeringly enormous – and happening world-wide.  It would probably be easier for me to reverse into my comfortable suburban existence… and figure that the problems… the things I’m passionate about… the things I so desperately want to see changed…. well, they’re just too ‘big’ for me.

I might say something like:  ”What can one suburban mom-of-two do about issues that are so out of control?  Rather let the governments and the super-celebrities or somebody else sort it out.  What can I do, anyway?  What possible difference could I make?”.

Well – I CAN make a difference!  And last year, I DID make a difference… and this year, I’m going to make a difference AGAIN…. and AGAIN next year too… and the year after that.

I absolutely refuse to entertain indifference!  I wasted so much life doing nothing when there was actually SO MUCH that I was capable of doing!  I might not be able to solve all of the world’s problems – but I can play my little role… and if there’s enough of us who do the same, we can turn the tide!

Today I was browsing through Youtube, on the hunt for the links to the 2 Dove Self Esteem Fund videos that I enjoy so much (‘Evolution’ and ‘Onslaught’) to send as links to a friend.  And what should I come across – but a spoof of the Dove ‘Evolution’ video.  To give you some background – here is the Dove video….

And the link to the spoof version is here. (I can’t stomach the idea of embedding it into my blog!).

Now… I’m not a lugubrious killjoy and I actually do have a sense of humour.  In fact, I love to laugh.  And initially, when I watched the video, I was mildly amused – until the end of the video when the tag-line read as follows:  “Thank God our perception of real life is distorted.  No one wants to look at ugly people”.

Then I thought a bit about what I had just watched… and started to feel irritated, frustrated, angry.

In the work that I do, I meet countless women and girls who have such terribly low self-esteem – and a large part of the blame for their feelings of inadequacy can be placed squarely at the feet of the Western media (including the diet, fashion and beauty industries) and their extremely distorted perception of what beauty actually is!  The media, and it’s message, is impossible to ignore.  Our ‘inadequacy’ is blasted and trumpeted from the rooftops… magazines, internet, billboards, newspapers, movies, TV – everywhere you look – women are being told again and again and again… that we are not ‘enough’… that we need to be ‘fixed’… that we need to look a very certain cookie-cut way – and if (gasp!) we don’t fit into that cookie-cutter mould (which is a tiny mould indeed!) – then sorry for us – we’re not beautiful…and, if the video I watched today was to be believed – then we’re actually “UGLY” ! (unless, of course, we rely on make-up, lighting, camera crews, hairdressers and a small army of photoshoppers to save us from our ugly selves!)

Of course – the spoof video takes things to the extreme and you can see what they’re trying to say.  I can almost hear their comments after watching the original Dove movie for the first time … “Yeah, so what?  What are those Dove people trying to say?  Should we now use fat slobs in our advertising instead of beautiful women?  Isn’t that defeating the object?  Who is going to buy anything from fat slobs?  Who wants to look at fat, ugly slobs?   Huh?  Huh?”

Of course, nobody (certainly not Dove… not me… not any of the women that I work with) are saying that we’d like to endorse slovenliness and gluttony as a way of life.  I don’t know anybody in my field, in my circle – who would promote a lifestyle of binge eating, burgers, beer and cigarettes… this over-the-top caricature created by the spoof crew.

But wait… let’s just sweep all of that aside.  Let’s assume for argument’s sake that I am a grumpy stick-in-the-mud who missed the point of the funny-ha-ha video.  It’s just good ol’ harmless fun.  A bit of a poke in the ribs of a corporate giant (Dove).  A bit of a laugh.  Whatever.

The part I still have the biggest problem with is the sentence:  ”Nobody wants to look at ugly people”.

Who is the “nobody” referred to in that sentence?  Who are they claiming to speak on behalf of?   And secondly, who are the “ugly people”?  Would that be… uh… normal looking people?  People like you and me?  People who don’t fit into the media and beauty industry’s cookie-cutter mould of what defines beauty?  Because let’s be honest – Dove’s original video never implied that advertisers should rather use the likes of the ‘ugly slob’ on their billboards (as created in the spoof video)… instead of the photoshopped ‘beauty’.

All of this reminds of of a response to a post of mine, a few months back.  The post was titled: “Time to redefine beauty” - and one response was from a man called Ken who wrote this:

“You can ramble on with on how god created women to be this and that, and how women are all so lovely.  But fact is, i cant sell BEAUTY products using ugly girls like you.  btw:  You women set the standards!  If i could sell beauty products using “ordinary women” i would stop, but i CANT! And as long as you women buy the products plastered with these women, nothing will change!  Personally i would also rather look at these victorias secret models than age old fat asses like yourself “.

Nuff said.

PS:  I wonder if Ken was part of the crew who came up with the spoof on the Dove video?

Like so many people surveyed - would I give up 20 precious years of my life... years spent with my family... in exchange for thinness? I think NOT! (And I'm horrified that so many people said they WOULD!)

I don’t want to have to STRIVE towards self love… or to see it as some kind of goal that I need to achieve… or a duty or a 5-Step-Plan… or even as a list of things that I need to do every day in order force myself to somehow treat myself differently.  Initially, Beautiful Life Project started off that way.  I had lots of plans and practical tips that I thought would really… somehow… fix me – if I stuck to them, the way you stick to a diet.  But, if I’m completely honest, I have to admit that those little tips or steps haven’t made any real, significant change in my life… and especially in comparison to the mammoth change that took place during my involvement with the Tapestry of Dreams project.  I do think that small, practical changes and ideas can be helpful – but I no longer see them as any kind of guaranteed solution – or cure.

It makes me think of a lady called Nancy Makin.  She lost an equivalent of double of what I currently weigh – which is a LOT of weight!  And she did it without embarking upon a diet or a strict exercise regime.  She simply discovered her worth and her value in an unexpected way – and the weight fell off without her even noticing.  It was a natural transformation – it wasn’t forced.  Nancy discovered her worth… and her passion… and came to accept a few valid truths about herself.  Everything else naturally followed in that path of redemption – including the weight loss.

I love that story – and I want that for myself and for other women.  Instead of spending so much time obsessing about the “cure” for my “disease”… perhaps I should be asking the question of whether my obsession with my body and my relationship with food has not, perhaps, been far more damaging than the actual food?

Perhaps we’re all suffering from the symptoms of a much bigger and more insidious disease?  The symptoms of our society’s twisted ideals – rapidly promoted by an unscrupulous media (to coin a phrase by Lloyd Martin).  Why is it so bloody life-and-death important for me to get thin… for example?  Why does my external appearance count for so much in this life that I continually obsess about the state of my body?  Are there not far more important things in this life to obsess about… to worry about?

We have all bowed down and worshipped at the altars of weight-loss hero’s and diets, and the world-wide billion dollar diet industry and all the programs and books that provide it’s sustenance.  We obsess about food and weight and diets and the state of our bodies and everything external to such a degree that it consumes us!  It gobbles up other goals… and dreams… and values… and promotes itself above all else.  Why has the Quest-for-Thinness come more important than – say – the Quest-for-Women’s-Rights?  Perhaps because we’ve somehow bought in to the deeply held, yet very disturbing belief that unless we look, act and behave in a certain (society, media or church endorsed way) that… perhaps we aren’t even deserving of those rights in the first place.

We women are very prone to lambast our fellow sisters on the hot coals of our judgement when they don’t jump through the hoops presented to them by our own / society / media / religious expectations.  I can think of many examples where this is true — but let’s just take the issue of fatness as but ONE example.

How many of us secretly judge the obese?  (My hand is up – and I am obese!  How twisted is that?)

I have fallen victim to this sinister judgement/belief system many times.  One poignant memory was Cuba.  I remember when we visited Cuba for the first time.  Cuba, as you may or may not know, is one of the last bastions of communism in the world and has been under the restrictions of a US embargo ever since Castro aimed his missiles at Florida and threatened to pull the trigger.

As a result, most Cubans have grown up in a society completely free of the influences of Western media.  No glossy women’s magazines.  No billboards.  No TV advertising (except for the odd snippet of government propoganda).  No satellite dishes to beam in international TV… no scantily clad models gazing out from every public advertising space… nothing.

Cuban women haven't been exposed to the relentless brainwashing of Western media - and so tend to dress in what's comfortable instead of what's 'cool'. They have a far better understanding of the definition of 'beauty' than the rest of us.

Without even realising it, the Cuban government has inoculated its women against the disease of the Western ideal (an inoculation I wish had been administered to me – a long time ago).

When we first arrived in Havanna, it was a piping hot day.  Our driver collected us from the airport and drove us to Jovellanos where we’d be staying in the homes of our hosts.  I remember sweating buckets in my baggy fat-person attire – loathing the heat – yet watching through the car windows with interest.

I was disturbed to find myself disturbed by what some of the larger Cuban ladies were wearing.  There were some really large women walking the streets of Cuba and they seemed… oblivious(!!!)… to their fatness!  They were wearing skimpy shorts and lycra tops – just like all of the other (much thinner) ladies!  Stranger still – nobody else seemed to notice!  Nobody stared at them, laughed at them, or gossiped about them as they walked on by!

I’m ashamed to admit that I was disturbed by this.  My head was saying:  “They can’t wear that!!  Everyone can see their fat!  Everyone can see their cellulite and their bulges!  Aren’t they ashamed?  Aren’t they humiliated?  They should not be allowed to wear that — it’s almost… offensive!”

Perhaps I believed, on a dark and twisted level, that all fat women should be ashamed, embarrassed and hiding in the shadows – shrouded in dark, baggy clothing… just like me.

Somehow… we all need to rise above this ridiculousness and see our obsession with the external for what it really is – a ridiculously, pointless charade that keeps us on a merry-go-round of obsessing about sillyness – while the really important issues and crises in this world are largely ignored.

We have placed far too much collective emphasis on stuff that, let’s face it really isn’t that important!

I’m disturbed by shows like “Ruby” on DSTV.  I thought I would have enjoyed watching a show that took us along on a journey, witnessing a woman’s transformation – but it disturbs me that Ruby is defined entirely by her fat!  The show’s producers… Ruby’s friends… the viewers who watch every week – everybody defines Ruby by her fatness.  She’s Fat-Ruby-Who-Is-Trying-To-Lose-Weight… she’s not just ‘Ruby’.

And even after watching countless episodes, I still don’t know who Ruby actually IS – apart from her fatness and all of her thoughts and fears surrounding her fatness.  I don’t even know what she does for a living… what she studied… what she enjoys doing… what she’s passionate about… what she dreams of doing with her life… her family… her upbringing… her core values or beliefs… nothing!  Everything about Ruby – and the definition of Ruby – boils down to her weight:  How much she currently weighs.  How much weight she still has to lose.  And how her diet and exercise regimes are affecting her life.

I don’t want to be like another Ruby.  I don’t want Beautiful Life Project… or this blog… to simply be all about me obsessing about exteriors… weight-loss… fatness… diets.

I don’t want people to view me as Fat-Heather-Who-Is-Trying-To-Lose-Weight.  There is so much MORE to me than that!  Most of my life, dreams, purpose, talents, ideas… have absolutely nothing to do with my external appearance or what I weigh!  Why, then, is it so damn important to other people… or even important to me?

What if I turned the tide?  What if I never embraced those debates at all?  What if I removed all of the fat and thin photos from my website and blog and stopped judging myself in that manner – and stopped allowing other people to judge me in the same way?  What if I stop obsessing about what I eat – whether good or bad?  What if I stop obsessing about what I weigh?  What if I stopped sharing with the world… and with others… stupid mundane things like what I ate… or didn’t eat…  when I binged… or didn’t binge… what diet I’m on… and all the other shallow topics of conversation that we women seem to find so addictive and fascinating…

And let’s face it – women just luuuurve devouring that stuff!  It keeps our attention piqued – because we are always on the hunt – sniffing around like a pack of rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth bloodhounds – always searching for the latest, greatest, grandest cure for our bodies.  We women are obsessed with our bodies – our external appearance.  The obsession to be thin.  The obsession to stay young.  The obsession to look pretty.  The obsession to be admired and wanted.  And – in my case – the obsession with my fatness… the constant lamenting and woe-is-me’ing about my fat, unacceptable body and how it somehow renders me a complete failure in all other areas of my life!

9 supposedly 'ugly' women transformed through extreme plastic surgery & dieting into the Western media's cookie-cutter acceptable definition of 'beauty'.

If somebody loses weight, we all want to know HOW… as though this person will have miraculously acquired some kind of new revelation… some kind of new, special secret as to how she attained her goal weight.  And we all want a piece of that secret!

The crazy thing is that we all know how to lose weight.  Most women have lost and gained countless kilograms during the course of their lives.  We’ve all been on diets and we’ve all lost weight (even if we gained it back).  Everybody knows how to lose weight.  It’s not rocket science… but it is our obsession.

There are women I know who have no other topic of conversation to discuss – other than the latest diet… the latest get-young treatment… the latest fix-your-body-now method.  I have a number of relatives whose homes I cannot visit without the topic being raised at least 5 times during the course of the visit.  One of those relatives is fat – the other is thin and super-fit.  Regardless, the obsession is exactly the same.  They suffer from the same disease.

I guess… the question I’m really asking is this… is all of this REALLY all that important?

Why do we care so much about who weighs what… and who has lost weight… and who has put on weight… and our weight in comparison to everybody else’s weight… and our goal weight – and the latest diets that could perhaps help us achieve that goal weight… and… and… and….

I’m not saying that it’s not an important topic (because many of us, myself included, feel unhappy and unhealthy at their current weight)… but I’m asking whether it’s THE most important topic?

I’m horrified by a survey that proved that a large percentage of people would rather lose 20 years of their life – rather than be fat!  Wow… that flabbergasts me.  That weight has become THAT important!  That people are THAT obsessed about not getting fat – that they’d prepared to lose 20 years of their life!

Well… I AM a fat person… and as annoying and embarrassing it is to be fat – it’s still such a small, miniscule piece of life’s Big Picture.  I enjoy my life.  I have a wonderful, loving family.  I’m happy and fulfilled in my work.  I get to travel and see new things and meet new people.  Why on earth would I possibly choose to sacrifice this beautiful gift called LIFE in exchange for something as one-dimensional as thinness?

I dunno.  I’m beginning to think that many of us (myself included) have really had our priorities really messed up for a long time.  Maybe I’m finally “getting it”.

Or maybe I’m finally losing it.

I found 3 of these movies off the Dove website. They’ve launched a self-esteem program which is put together really well – and which is very well funded too!   I must admit, I do feel slightly disconcerted by the fact that a company who manufactures ‘beauty bars’ – and whose sole purpose exists in the marketing and sale of said beauty bars… well, I find it just a bit… difficult to imagine… that their motives behind this campaign are entirely pure.

I suspect it’s a BRILLIANT marketing campaign for their company and their products – because what better way to warm a women’s heart towards “Dove” than launching a campaign like this one? However – be that as it may – at least they’re doing SOMETHING positive (which is more that what one could say about the rest of the beauty/diet/fashion industry – who have a lot to answer for)… and these Dove short films are… without a doubt… BRILLIANT!  This is the heart of the Beautiful Life Project! (except we’re not trying to sell you anything).

more about “The truth about the beauty industry. …“, posted with vodpod

more about “Another fantastic video… that basic…“, posted with vodpod